Babies

Ok. This may not go as smoothly as I would like, but I just really need to write it before I lose the conviction.

Babies. Unborn babies. I bet you've heard a lot about them in the last few weeks, and I've mostly stayed out of debates about them because I didn't feel knowledgeable enough about important facts. I was scared that people would just say I'm trying to cram my beliefs down other people's throats, tell them what to do with their bodies. Well, I'm over that and I need to give my perspective on all of this Planned Parenthood crap. I will not deny that my Christian beliefs play a role in my beliefs concerning elective abortion (which we're just going to call abortion from here on out, but I didn't want someone to play the semantics card), but I'm going to try to make these arguments without relying on that, because I don't need to. Christians shouldn't be afraid to proclaim their beliefs, but I think that if you can successfully argue a point without them, it'll resonate better to non-believers. So, here we go.

One big aspect of the abortion debate has always been the question of when does it become "life" in the womb. A lot of people say it's when there's a heartbeat, some say when you can measure brain activity, and of course there are those that believe life begins at conception. I used to be slightly uncomfortable with the conception idea, but only because that would mean that if I had an early miscarriage I could have lost a baby without even seeing them on an ultrasound. That's scary. Grief is scary and no one wants to put themselves in that pain unnecessarily. And a heartbeat or brain activity make sense pretty easily; humans like to quantify and qualify things and those benchmarks are measurable. However, humans also like to assign definitions. So here is the definition of life via Merriam-Webster:

a :  the quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body

b :  a principle or force that is considered to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings

c :  an organismic state characterized by capacity for metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction

If you look it up yourself, there are a bunch of definitions under the heading of life, but I think these pertain to our discussion the most. According to the dictionary, there needs to be the capacity for metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction. While a baby in the womb will not be reproducing, they have the capacity, as they have reproductive organs. If you say "but they aren't developed yet, and they don't get them upon conception" then ok; are pre-pubescent girls alive? A female cannot reproduce until starting menstruation, and even then some women are infertile. Are they any less a life? I don't think so. Secondly, unborn babies react to stimuli at an amazingly early time. Honestly, I don't know the exact week count, and obviously it isn't as early as conception, but it's certainly way earlier than 20wks, since ultrasound techs poke and prod at mama's bellies trying to get babies to "cooperate" for anatomical scans. I can find sources that say a baby has reflexes 12wks into pregnancy, but that's just doing a quick search. Then, I think we can all agree that there is metabolism and growth going on in the womb, so I'm not going to go further on those.

Now I have heard people say that all of those capacities need to be fulfilled, while being self-sustaining. I find this silly. I could argue that a 1 month old baby isn't self-sustaining, because even if you left them in a warm, predator-free environment, with a bowl/bottle/container of breastmilk or formula nearby, they would never survive. Same could be said for the very elderly, paraplegics, and people in comas. I know there are people that don't consider someone on life support to be alive, but that's the far end of the spectrum. Another example of non-self-sustaining life: parasites. A tape worm can't survive without it's host. Maybe that's a reach, since once attached they are feeding themselves, sort of, but you get my point.

Another point to the life argument, which I think would appeal to the very scientifically minded, is "alien life". Here we are, looking for life on other planets, and all we're looking for is single-celled organisms, and maybe signs of water. If a microorganism like that will fulfill our requirements for extraterrestrial life, how does it not meet the terrestrial life bill? Upon conception, there is only a day or two that there is a single cell, if that. By about day 5, when the mother wouldn't even know she was pregnant, there is already a mass of cells referred to as a blastocyst. It may not look like a baby, but it's certainly more than what we're looking for on other planets. And some may say that I'm just trying to define life generally, not human life, but if the only genetic material contributed is human, what else could it be? And those of you that believe solely in evolution rather than a divine creator, don't you believe that humans evolved from a mass of cells, if that? I'm not trying to be condescending or anything like that, but I do believe that's kind of a main aspect of evolution.

I have a few more points, but it would probably double the length of this, and right now I'm emotionally spent. I will try to get back to this soon, but I need to be ready to sit down and think because I don't want to ruin something because I didn't think it through. I know this could already have been argued better, but it's a blog post people, mostly just a cursory argument for life. I really hope that this helps those of you arguing for life to strengthen your arguments, and those of you arguing to allow abortion maybe start to see the argument against it. But I have no delusions of grandeur, about changing a ton of people's minds on a topic that they are likely passionate about. So until next time, love those babies in your life.

Fruit

There's been a lot on my mind lately, like really a lot, so hopefully I can keep remembering these topics and they stay on my mind so I can actually address all of them. I think since I'm a stay at home mom, I just have more time to think things over, and my brain doesn't get quite the stimulation it used to, so it's hungry for deep-ish topics (deep, right?). Don't get me wrong, I love staying home with Z and am very thankful that's our life right now, but my brain needs a little exercise. Anyway, I think today we'll go with fruits of the Spirit...roughly.

The summer after I graduated from high school, our senior class youth group went to Mexico for a week on a mission trip to an orphanage. It was so amazing in so many ways, and one of the things we did for the kids was a short Sunday school kind of thing every day. We were paired up and each pair did a presentation on a fruit of the spirit; Xavier and I got Peace. I don't remember a whole lot of the detail from our lesson, but I do remember using these verses:

 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life” (Matt 6:25-27)?

At the time I didn't really think about it, except that it made sense: God cares about us at least as much as birds, and they seem generally well cared for. But a couple of years ago in college I realized that Peace is definitely a gift of mine. I don't know if I've always been that way, although I suspect it since I'm often referred to as "chill", but I wonder if that's why I was assigned that lesson. If our leaders knew I would be able to teach about Peace not only through my words, but also my [subconscious] actions. Or maybe it was just a random pick and God knows what he's doing ;)

Either way, that message of Peace has stayed on my heart since, and every time I start to worry about something big in my life, I just remember the birds. (I could expound on this, but I have other things to say and that was the big thing.)

 So, originally I did say fruits of the Spirit, plural. Lately, and I mean just the last couple of weeks, the word kind has really been popping into my head. When I have my little inner dialogues, I've been using kind a lot when thinking about or describing people and actions. How it's so nice to just be kind to someone, and how it's so wonderful when people are kind in return. Then a couple nights ago, as I was saying it over in my head, I realized Kindness is another fruit of the Spirit. This is just awesome to me, and it may not be that crazy to you, but I love when something clicks into place. I've been trying my best to be genuinely kind to people, no matter our differences, and I've been blessed with some very kind people coming into my life. Without even realizing it, God was working on another fruit with me, molding me into a kinder person in His own gentle way. He's a sneaky one, He is! Plus, I think He's been sneaking some other unexpected pieces into my life.

I would never ever have thought of myself becoming someone that reaches out to people, through text or word or otherwise, trying to spread any kind of message. But that's another thing that's been on my heart this past week: maybe I'm just the voice some women need to hear, reminding them that they're not alone in this crazy experience of life. I know, there are tons of very successful blogs catering to all kinds of women, telling them how wonderful they are or that being a mom is difficult for everyone, but that's not what I want. I just want to be honest, and maybe someone like me, who thinks a lot of those blogs are overly mushy and not as honest as they claim, will gain a little more peace and be a little kinder to herself. 

And that's something I'll probably touch on another day: be kind to yourselves, friends. You are your biggest [human] asset, ally, and supporter, and no one knows you like you do. You know the struggles you've been through and where you've come from, so cut yourself some slack. It's cliché, but it will be much easier for others to love you and be kind to you if you are kind to and love yourself. Besides, who cares what they think? ;) 

Edited to add: For reference, the Fruits of the Spirit are Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.

How Zaiden Came Into the World

Wow, I thought I had at least made a birth story post or something since Zaiden was born. Apparently not though, so I'll take care of that, then get onto other stuff.

My last post was February 5, 2014, 27 days before Zaiden was "due". I was very much prepared for him to be late, although I had this feeling he'd be early (maybe it was just wishful thinking). I have two very good friends born on February 21st, so I think that was really my only reason I felt that way, since that would be pretty cool for them all to share a birthday. So I stopped working February 14 because the thought of going into labor or my water breaking at work was pretty much my worst nightmare, and I had lots I still wanted to get done. It's a good thing I quit when I did.

February 21st was a Friday last year, and I was lounging around like I had been doing in the morning, trying to finish the paper mache solar system mobile I was making, and watching TV. As much as I hate to say it, Zaiden may be here today because of The Drs tv show. It comes on at 9am in NM, and that day they had a news story about a poor mother that had been involved in a car accident while 9 months pregnant and lost her sweet baby because of it. Besides the obvious sob factor that would normally accompany that, I hadn't felt Zaiden move since the afternoon before. He was usually pretty active, but I never woke up to his movements so I had previously dismissed the inactivity for me sleeping through kicks. Well, I poked and pleaded with my belly, barely holding it together between the television story and trying to count hours, when I realized I needed to call my doctor. Though I can often pull it together and remain relatively calm if I need to, I absolutely can NOT if I have to talk, especially on the phone. Somehow, I was coherent enough for the triage nurse to understand me, and God bless her she is good at her job. She made it clear that I should go in to the hospital to check on him, but kept me (relatively) calm and assured me that it is often not the worst case.

So I called my husband, and was slightly less coherent, and he came straight from work, got me and our bag, and took me to the hospital. He, also, was a champion. I know he was concerned, but he also kept his cool and kept me calm. We got to triage and I had calmed down enough, but they got me into a room pretty quick (honestly, some of this is a little hazy because of the stress). If you have never been in this situation, you can not possibly understand how relieved I felt when they found his heart beat. The mood got so much lighter and I could finally breathe. But they still needed to do a biophysical exam, which is basically just an ultrasound with a test score for all the normal functions. Zaiden's heart looked great, his umbilical cord and fluids looked normal, he was "practicing" breathing, and he was still head down. But he would not, for anything, move. They poked my belly, shined a light right up against it, put a little vibrating thing up to where he was roughly: nothing. They also noticed he was pretty far into my pelvis, and he was face first rather than crown-first. I don't remember this, but OB says that the docs were pretty sure the reason he wasn't moving was that his face was pressed into my pelvic bone, and every time he moved it hurt, so he stopped moving. Makes sense, but until a few months ago I thought we just never figured it out.

Anyway, the doctor told me that she couldn't let me leave without a baby, because if he wasn't moving there was no real way for me to tell if something went wrong. Also, apparently I was having not quite regular, but definitely chartable, contractions at the time, which I seriously did not notice. Fellow mothers, please don't hate me, I'm sure I'll get the experience next time. But since they weren't regular, they started me on Pitocin to try to get things moving. This was something I had really hoped to avoid, but I knew was obviously the best decision now. I started to feel a little more contractions, but I still had to check the monitor to confirm that's what it was. The wonderful nurse told me that once we had good monitoring for both of us for some length of time, we'd try to get Zaiden repositioned so we could still push him out. I was good for long enough that she let me get up to pee, then shortly after getting hooked back up, I felt a gush. Not gonna lie: my initial thought was "but I just peed!" Then I told the nurse my water broke. She was all calm and said ok, well we'll check to see if that's what it was; but when she lifted up the sheet, haha, I think even she was surprised how much amniotic fluid I was laying in. Poor OB, he even helped mop it up, but I thought it was so funny how happy she was about the amount and clarity, although I guess there was a lot that could have gone wrong.

So here I am, kind of proud that my water just broke, when the doctor comes into to check on how I've progressed. I honestly don't remember numbers, I just remember him saying that he poked my baby in the eye. He said that Zaiden was very far engaged, and there was really no way to get him not face-first at this point. I could labor for hours and push and get exhausted, and still need to have a c-section. Or, we could prep for one now and have him out in about an hour.

Before I go on, I want to say that I in no way felt pressured or forced against my will to have a c-section. Zaiden wasn't taking the pitocin particularly well, and his heart rate wasn't doing exactly what they wanted after my water breaking. While I wish I could have not had surgery, I do not regret my decision.

So I was pretty upset: all my birth plans had pretty much gone out the window and I wasn't particularly prepared to have a c-section. OB called our parents to let them know, since we had said we'd keep them updated, and I got prepped for major abdominal surgery. Honestly, I think I would have been emotionally ok if they hadn't allowed OB in, but I'm so glad it wasn't an emergency so he was permitted. The spinal scared the crap out of me, but again, the nurses and anesthesiologist were amazing and everyone talked me through everything that was happening. OB got to sit right by my head, and I had the c-section specialist/teacher taking care of me. The drugs made me light-headed enough that I needed the anti-nausea medicine a couple times, but I was very positive I believe. When the doctor pulled Zaiden out, I couldn't see but I knew he didn't cry immediately. And when he did, I was so so so so happy and I'm pretty sure I cried. Apparently he was a little gray and it really freaked OB out, but the nurses were amazing and they had a NICU nurse there just in case, because this wasn't scheduled I think. Little man got a 7 and 8 on his APGAR, and they put him on my chest under a wrap while they stitched me up.

I have since read a lot of stories where c-section mothers were not able to hold their sweet babies until hours later because of the hospital's either incompetence or protocol. I am so amazingly thankful that I got to snuggle Zaiden for those minutes, and assure myself that everything was going to be ok.

The three of us got moved to a recovery room together, and I got to "hold" Z and try to nurse the entire time they weren't doing his exam or making footprints. They even made some in his keepsake book for us! Nursing was a little difficult. I was very tired as it was past 9pm for sure and I hadn't eaten anything but popsicles and some chicken broth for at least 12 hours. There were also some anatomical issues on my end, and I wished I remembered this part better, but I definitely should have tried harder. Eventually we got moved to a mother-baby room, and we even got an extra bed for OB. I so wanted to just fall asleep holding him, but obviously they wouldn't let me. I slept pretty hard and don't really remember them taking him out for his bath, but OB at least acknowledged what was happening.

The next morning we tried to nurse again, and I think I still didn't realize how important it was that he eat. I don't remember how it went, but not too long after the nurse realized Zaiden was kind of jittery, and said it looked like low blood sugar. Sure enough, they tested him and it was pretty low. After three hours of trying to get him to nurse some more, they had to take him to the NICU to get a sugar water IV. THIS BROKE MY HEART. I finally had my baby with me, we made it through surgery, and now they were taking him away. I called my parents, and I couldn't hold back the tears, which were exacerbated by the pain in my abdomen caused by crying and the stitches. My mom asked me if Zaiden was still with us. I understand why she did, but this was the worst moment of my life. I somehow managed to tell her that he was relatively fine, but I couldn't stop thinking about him not making it. Then, right after getting off the phone (and I had cried most of the time) a midwife came in to check on me and I also scared her that something had happened, since Zaiden was no longer in the room. She was so kind and talked me through it and by the time OB got back from letting the dog out, I was mostly ok.

The rest of the details of our stay aren't particularly important. The doctors let me stay as long as I was allowed before discharge, I was healing pretty well, and I had a great set of nurses, one in particular that I wish I could thank. Zaiden still wasn't quite weaned off the sugar water by then, so we had to keep coming back to the hospital and I had to pump every three hours to get all the milk I could for him. They did give him formula, which I was surprisingly at peace with right away, because it was medically necessary since my milk hadn't come in all the way yet. The lactation consultants were pretty great, and the NICU nurses were amazing. And before I could walk by myself down to visit him, one of the nurse assistants even walked with me. Guys, it is so hard to have your brand new baby on a different floor and not be able to walk.

I guess that's important: I almost passed out the second time I tried to get out of bed. The first time I just knew it wasn't happening, but the second time I desperately wanted to hold my baby. I got onto my feet, but I got hot, light-headed, and my ears began to ring. I was so disappointed in myself when she made me lay back down. Eventually I was able to get into a wheelchair that OB pushed, and then slowly was able to shuffle and then walk by myself.

I think I was in the hospital for 4 days? I don't remember, but Zaiden got to come home on the 6th day. After he was weaned off the sugar, his oxygen saturation was low, so he was put on a nasal canula but moved up to the nursery and had the lowest O2 setting. He had to bring a tank home with him, but they did a chest xray to confirm that there was nothing physically wrong with his lungs. Unfortunately, because of the surgery, I couldn't go anywhere without OB because I couldn't carry more than the weight of Z, but he needed his oxygen tank with him. That week or so at home with that tank was not how I imagined our second week with a baby. But, we made it through even with baths, and when he got to take that tube off his face, he was even more beautiful.

I think that's all I'm going to write on his birth, since now we're past that part, but I really wanted to have a document of it all. And I know that there are a lot of moms out there that had similar experiences with at least some of this, and I want you to know that you are not alone. It sucks. None of this, besides getting a baby boy into my arms, was what I expected or planned for. But God always has a plan, and that has helped me come to peace with it all. Zaiden's birth and whole life so far has taught me so much, softened my heart especially toward other mothers, and reminded me that it's all in God's hands, no matter what I think.

If you made it through all of this, get yourself a donut! Or cupcake! Or ice cream! And I love you :)

Oh Crap...It's February.

(February, as in we have 27 days until baby is supposed to arrive.) Okay. I wrote a big long post last night and long story short, it got erased before I could post it. I'm annoyed, and therefore may end up cutting this short even though I can remember the gist of pretty much everything. Be prepared, there was a lot of whining even in the original post.


Alright, I take it back: I don't remember everything. Basically, I don't feel like a pregnancy unicorn anymore. Haven't heard the term? On the Birth Month Board that I kind of participate on, a pregnancy unicorn is basically a lady that has no real negative pregnancy symptoms or complications, like morning sickness or gestational diabetes. Until recently, I felt like pregnancy really wasn't so bad since I hadn't had any morning sickness to speak of and I generally felt good most of the time. But third trimester has definitely started hitting harder.

My belly is becoming quite the inconvenience, though I still haven't run it into a person yet. The main problem is sleeping...or trying to. It's hard to get comfortable, and I really just want to be able to sleep on my stomach again, even though I didn't do it that much before. I wake up pretty much every hour or two because I need to roll over to get comfortable, and it takes a couple attempts to get all the way turned over. Sometimes I feel a little bad that I wake up OB at least a couple times, but then I remember that he doesn't have to deal with any of the discomforts so I'm not concerned.

36wks, 4 to go (theoretically)

Another sleeping problem is painful hips. Now, I don't entirely mind the hip pain because it's mostly the ache of my hips widening. Some of you ladies might not understand why I'm ok with this, but wider hips = wider pelvis = bigger opening for baby to fit through =  less pain (hopefully) during labor and delivery. I have actually gotten a few stretch marks on my hips, so I think that confirms my theory that I have indeed widened. In fact, last week or the week before when I was walking Marty a little further than usual, I almost didn't make it back without stopping. My hips just ached so bad and when we got back I had to just lean over on the table and rest. It actually helps a little if OB or I press in on them, but it's too tiring for not enough pay off. And if I sit at my desk for too long, my right hip usually ends up aching...which makes sense since little guy pretty much exclusively hangs out on my right side. Maybe that means he's moved down into position?

Lets see, other complaints...oh yeah, my hands and feet have started to swell a little, occasionally. My shoes still fit fine and my ring is only a little tight, but it's enough for me to notice. Also, I've never really had any body image issues, but I'm pretty sure I've started to gain squish outside of the baby bump (face, love handles) and I'm kind of disappointed in myself. I know, I know: you gain weight during pregnancy and I shouldn't complain about a couple little pounds, but I was doing so well. Originally my doctor said the normal weight gain was 25-35lbs during pregnancy, for a woman of healthy weight. Well, I've gained about 35lbs and I still have four weeks to go. Now, at my last appointment my PA made me feel better by saying average is 30-35lbs and that she wasn't at all concerned about me, but I'm still a little bummed with myself. But, this is me letting that go and chalking it up to not having morning sickness in the beginning.

Also, I really miss working out. Not like hitting the gym, but playing Ultimate and skiing, and running or biking whenever I feel like it. I probably could have kept running longer if I had been more consistent in the beginning, but that whole broken collarbone thing kind of screwed that up. Really, one of the biggest reasons I hope I don't need a C-section (don't worry, no reason to think I do but it's still something I think about), besides obviously that babies are meant to come out naturally and such, is that I want my recovery time to be as short as possible so I can get back to playing sports. I realize I won't have the time or energy I had before, but I still want to be able to play whenever I feel up for it. Luckily, my awesome friends got together and got us a running stroller, so I'll have some good motivation and no excuse for not jogging, at least slowly, with little man.

On a completely unrelated note, only 7 more days of work! Don't get me wrong, it's a good job and my co-workers are great, but I'm seriously looking forward to spending lots of time with our handsome little genius. Also, hopefully in the weeks before he arrives I'll be able to get the animals ready for the big change, and get all our ducks in a row.

I feel like there is something else I originally wrote about that is now escaping me, but I so don't care...sorry. One thing: I was dreading going to bed last night because I'd been so uncomfortable the nights before, but I actually slept ok and whatever was bugging my stomach from the weekend cleared itself up. So, I'll leave you with this weird picture of my belly button; and yes, it's completely flat :)

So weird looking!

Catch-up Time

Soooo.....sorry it's been 5 weeks. I only meant to take off the two weeks around Christmas, but then I lost my momentum/motivation. As you can imagine, a lot has happened though it hasn't been too crazy. Christmas was really good, having both our families in but not having all 10 of them stay with us (thank you parents!). My mom, grandma, and sister all got to feel baby boy kick, which made me really happy since they're not going to be back before he arrives. I wasn't completely uncomfortable so touring around Albuquerque/Santa Fe with them wasn't work, and though we didn't have any snow the weather was pretty nice.

Then just after New Years we went to Chicago for a wedding, which was fun but I'm glad I wasn't any more pregnant. Got to see our old coach and some friends from school, which was really nice, and the wedding was great. However, I wish I could have enjoyed it a little more. The food was so good, and luckily all safe for me to eat (though the filet mignon may have been a little extra rare), but they also had an open bar and I would have at least liked to try the mini appletinis and chocolate martinis floating around. But I did get some dancing in; I had to sit out a couple of songs every couple of songs, but the band was really good and the singer was making fun of me for using my belly as a shelf...but in a nice way. Anyway, that was also the weekend of crazy winter storm stuff in Chicago; luckily we flew out of Milwaukee so we got out basically on time, but we were definitely in the minority. Flying wasn't too bad, there were lots of cute AND quiet babies on the planes, and my feet only swelled a little. It was kind of uncomfortable sitting that long in that space, but since I had OB with me this time I could lean on him.

So we made it home safely, but apparently all the travelling was kind of taxing on my body. A few times in the last month or two I'll get these "episodes", only in the mornings and usually while I'm sitting still at my desk, where I'll really feel my heart start cruising, around 120 bpm. Never any other symptoms like light-headedness or shortness of breath or anything, just the heart racing, for about 5 minutes. Well a couple days after we got back from Chicago I was about to go to work and it happened again, so I sat down for a minute because I didn't really want to drive in case in turned in to something more...and it last for another 15 minutes, when I called the doctor. I guess it was actually a nurse, but they wanted to make sure it wasn't anything so they sent me off to the hospital to get checked out. My MIL was still here, waiting for my BIL to get back from Chicago, so she was able to take me and I didn't have to worry about driving. Long story short, little man was perfectly fine, apparently I was having some small contractions (but I didn't feel them and they weren't actually doing anything so don't worry!), and my heart rate had come back down (mostly) by the time we got there. I got to meet another of the doctors that could end up delivering baby, and he told me I need to drink crap-tons of water and completely cut out caffeine (wasn't drinking much, just about 1 pop/week), which isn't bad since I don't really drink coffee and I can/have now cut out pop. Of course, now that I'm huge AND drinking a lot more water, I have to pee all the time. Oh well, it's what people expect.

So of course we had planned on taking our tour of the maternity ward the weekend AFTER I went to the hospital, which we still did, but that would have helped a little. The tour was great, I think there was only one or two ladies that were due before me from the looks of it, and the guide was the lady who taught our class so she was asking me how I was doing. Everything we saw and heard made me feel even more comfortable with our choice in hospitals, and I'm feeling very good about having all of our birth-related desires being respected. They're very pro breastfeeding and have trained nurses on staff if you need help getting started; they do their best to let you and baby bond first, then do the necessary tests; and they really want to help you be mobile during early labor, meaning not hooking you up to tons of things unless medically necessary. Anyway, I'm obviously still a little nervous about pushing out a baby, and the aftermath, but I feel pretty good about being in good hands.

We also had our baby shower last weekend, which was a ton of fun. My mother- and sister-in-law and super-awesome-friend did an awesome job setting up everything and planning stuff. It was a nice size so I got to talk with everyone and not feel stressed about missing somebody that I appreciate for being there. We got some adorable baby clothes, and other very useful baby things that I of course played with the next day, and everyone decorated onesies and bibs and they turned out so well!

The cake was super yummy, and came with baby's first Christmas ornament, with lines on the bottom of the shoes to write birthday, weight and length.

Overall, a fun evening and I'm so thankful for our great friends, and now we're pretty much set for little guy! I still need to wash everything, especially the things that our kitties have shed all over, but I'm feeling pretty prepared. We have 37 days until he's due, and only 16 days until he's "term" (holy crap, I hadn't done that math before just now and he better not come that early!). Which means, only 3 weeks left of work! Although lately I've been hearing that the average date of arrival for first time moms is 9 days late...so hopefully he's a little more punctual.

So that's all for now, here's Tuesday's picture at 34 weeks: holy cow! I'm large and getting more and more uncomfortable, but I didn't/don't have morning sickness so I am totally not complaining.

Pre-Christmas Update

Not much new going on, but don't want to go too long between posts and I won't be on my computer much while family's here (plus probably most of you reading this are family...and will be here).

Crazy, 71 days until little man's (expected) arrival and it's probably going to fly by with all the holidays and stuff to do. Amazingly, I still haven't gotten any weird belly rubs or tactless comments from strangers, but with my coat zipped up I think I just look a little bundled so maybe it's not surprising. I did however breakdown and get a support belt thing for my belly. It's a little complicated, but it does help with my back and belly when I'm upright for a long time. I had it on at work though, and I really had to take it off after a couple hours because when I was sitting at my desk it squeezed me too much. And it doesn't help with that obnoxious rib pain :( It's not constant, but it's more frequent and uncomfortable, and the heat pad (rice sock) doesn't work as well. Still haven't tried Bengay, keep forgetting to pick some up. But, it doesn't keep me up at night so that's good. Sleeping hasn't gotten harder recently, still just waking up a couple times to roll over and get comfortable.

Let's see, what else. Oh, speaking of buying things, there are WAY TOO MANY different types of carseats, highchairs, and strollers out there, along with all the other gizmos and gadgets for babies. I don't want to spend a fortune on stuff that he's only going to use for a couple years tops, but I want to make sure we get stuff that's safe and comfortable for him and us. Luckily, we just got a ridiculously good deal on a (quality, not-expired) carseat and two bases, and we already got the highchair off our registry so no more decisions there! And my MIL already said I wouldn't be getting any presents that were actually for baby for me for Christmas. I didn't think I would really care because I usually can't think of anything I want and I don't really need anything for myself, but this is our last Christmas without kids and I already had my last birthday without a little one but we didn't think it was going to happen that quickly. Then about a month later, BOOM, we're having a baby. I'm really happy we had the opposite of difficulty, but it was still kind of surprising. Okay, end of rant.

To finish this all up, here are some pictures of the (basically) finished baby's room and my 29wk belly :) The Christmas tree will get packed up, and the zombie poster will get relocated, but all the important stuff is there!

It's Getting Real

Holy cow, we're in the third trimester. With OB travelling for work last week I thought I would have plenty of time to blog, but puppy dog was very needy and wouldn't leave me in peace if I was on the computer for too long. All kinds of things have happened in the last two weeks, and I'm very glad to report that I have had no negative hormones in that time period, just happy thoughts and not too easily hurt feelings. So, where are we now...

We finished our birth class last weekend, it was just two 4-hour classes. I felt like the first session was a little less helpful, at least for me, because it was mostly things I had already read/talked to my doctor about or all the crazy breathing techniques. I don't think I really got any relaxation ideas that I didn't already know, I'll just need to make sure OB remembers what helps me and what doesn't. But, we did watch a movie about the stages of labor with clips from actual labors, so that was helpful to know what it looks like in real life, and know when to go to the hospital (probably my biggest question for the whole class). The second session was much more informative/helpful in our opinion. Talked about all the different options, medicinal or not, for pain relief and which stages they were used in; how doctors will monitor or augment labor if things aren't getting moving on their own; different positions to labor in (holy cow there's a lot!) including how to help with back labor; and a little bit about early newbown care like umbilical cords and circumcision. Slight tangent: I've been approaching labor with the thought that I would prefer not to have drugs, but I will accept them if the doctor really thinks they're necessary or things get really really really uncomfortable. After hearing and watching about epidurals...keep that terrible thing away from me! If someone else wants one, I do not judge you at all, but there is no way I'm letting anyone stick a needle into the tiny space next to my spinal fluid. I know, anesthesiologists do it all the time and problems are rare, but I am very good at handling pain and I want to be completely involved in the birth process and not confined to my bed. If I really need it (and plenty of women have given birth without any pain medication), I can take the narcotics and that will be good enough. Anyway, overall I'm glad we went, but probably won't even bother with a refresher course next time around.

I also had our 27wk (got a little off-schedule) prenatal appointment. I love my doctor, she's great. The only thing she's possibly lacking is that I'm pretty positive she hasn't has kids, but my PA has so she can give me the mom insight :) Little man's heartbeat was super loud and perfect this time, which was really cool and reassuring as always. I measured a couple cm big, but doc wasn't concerned and was happy with my weight gain. She set me up for my Gestational Diabetes screening (which everyone takes), and the best part was I got to choose when to go in.  Those of you who have had babies, you probably remember the experience, because my mom and MIL do and that was 19+ years ago, but I'll fill the rest of you in. They make you drink basically straight glucose, then wait for an hour and draw your blood. It really didn't taste that bad, started out like orange Gatorade then ended up like strong orange Kool-Aid, but it did NOT sit well for me. About half way through the hour I got dizzy and warm and kind of nauseous, but I kept everything down. Then, as the phlebotomist was taking off the second/final vial of blood, I got really warm and nauseous and felt like I was going to faint...so he had me go lie down for a while and drink some orange juice (would have preferred a cookie, but oh well). I have only had my blood drawn two times before that, but both times they took more and I had no light-headedness or anything. They said it was probably just a big shock to my system: ate a small breakfast, drank 10-ish oz of basically straight glucose, don't eat anything else for an hour, then take blood. Yeah, guess I'm not surprised. Anyway, my numbers came back fine so no GD for me! But I'm anemic, which doesn't surprise me because I've been eating mostly chicken (caribou/moose is just SO hard to find here ;) ), so now I'm taking yet another pill for iron (others are just vitamins). So yeah, I have my next appt at 30wks and then it's every two until 36wks when it becomes every week! Ah! Craziness.

I'm super pumped to be officially in the final trimester by even the latest counting standards. Less than 3 months until we meet our amazing baby boy, who is obviously gorgeous and a genius and terribly charming! Pretty positive we've got the name, but we're basically only sharing with family (sorry, cyber-world). Another thing about the third trimester: I can't evade being uncomfortable anymore. It's really not that bad, but sleeping is getting more difficult (had to get an extra pillow last night), my ribs or back pretty much always hurt by the end of the work day, and my belly just feels so heavy sometimes. We did this exercise at the birth class where hubby stand behind you and with his hands under your belly lifts up gently: felt so nice to take the weight off! Also, I've definitely starting getting the Braxton-Hicks contractions. It was a little scary at first, feeling your whole stomach harden up for a few seconds, but it wasn't in the least bit uncomfortable so I wasn't too concerned. It's just really weird. So you all know what I'm dealing with spatially, here's my 28wk photo:

It's getting tougher to see around my belly, and I do not feel like I look that big, but there's the proof! Putting non-slip-on shoes on is kind of difficult, and I can't see my feet if I stand up straight and just look straight down. I haven't bumped into anyone yet, but I have bumped him into a couple doors and railings, not very hard. Figuring out what to wear to work is not fun, I feel like I exhaust my unique pairings pretty quickly, but I work with 3 guys so they probably don't even notice. One of these days, I may very well wear spandex and a long sweater; I don't even care, it'll be comfortable. But I'll wait until the end for that.

Speaking of the end, I plan on leaving work after the first week of February, so only 30 days left (pretty sure I'm getting/taking 2wks for Christmas)! I'm starting to realize I will miss it, but not terribly. Mostly I'm just bummed that I finally got well-known by the people we work with on a regular basis, and now I'll be leaving. But those ties are not that big of a deal, I really want to stay home with our little guy and be his mommy. I can do plenty of stuff from home and while I won't be earning licensing hours, I can still keep my creative juices flowing. I'd rather not have to dump him at daycare every day; I know there are a lot of good moms who do that, but that's not what I want. Plus, then I won't miss anything :)

Ok, I think that's all for now. I'm sure I forgot something I wanted to talk about, but I'm getting hungry and since I'm off for the rest of the day I want to get some stuff done. Toodles!

*Edit: I remembered what I was thinking of! I've had two girls this week that work at restaurants I frequent ask me when I'm due or say I'm finally definitely showing! I personally liked it because I go there often enough and they're always working when I come so it's pretty obvious that I'm growing a baby not a belly, and they were both so sweet about it. The one said she kind of thought so a few weeks ago, but she wasn't 100% positive so she didn't say anything. Smart move, but I'm glad she got the courage this week to comment :) And I'm pretty sure the other has seen some of my friends touching the belly, so she knew it was safe.