There's been a lot on my mind lately, like really a lot, so hopefully I can keep remembering these topics and they stay on my mind so I can actually address all of them. I think since I'm a stay at home mom, I just have more time to think things over, and my brain doesn't get quite the stimulation it used to, so it's hungry for deep-ish topics (deep, right?). Don't get me wrong, I love staying home with Z and am very thankful that's our life right now, but my brain needs a little exercise. Anyway, I think today we'll go with fruits of the Spirit...roughly.
The summer after I graduated from high school, our senior class youth group went to Mexico for a week on a mission trip to an orphanage. It was so amazing in so many ways, and one of the things we did for the kids was a short Sunday school kind of thing every day. We were paired up and each pair did a presentation on a fruit of the spirit; Xavier and I got Peace. I don't remember a whole lot of the detail from our lesson, but I do remember using these verses:
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious
about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about
your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the
body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow
nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds
them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being
anxious can add a single hour to his span of life” (Matt 6:25-27)?
At the time I didn't really think about it, except that it made sense: God cares about us at least as much as birds, and they seem generally well cared for. But a couple of years ago in college I realized that Peace is definitely a gift of mine. I don't know if I've always been that way, although I suspect it since I'm often referred to as "chill", but I wonder if that's why I was assigned that lesson. If our leaders knew I would be able to teach about Peace not only through my words, but also my [subconscious] actions. Or maybe it was just a random pick and God knows what he's doing ;)
Either way, that message of Peace has stayed on my heart since, and every time I start to worry about something big in my life, I just remember the birds. (I could expound on this, but I have other things to say and that was the big thing.)
So, originally I did say fruits of the Spirit, plural. Lately, and I mean just the last couple of weeks, the word kind has really been popping into my head. When I have my little inner dialogues, I've been using kind a lot when thinking about or describing people and actions. How it's so nice to just be kind to someone, and how it's so wonderful when people are kind in return. Then a couple nights ago, as I was saying it over in my head, I realized Kindness is another fruit of the Spirit. This is just awesome to me, and it may not be that crazy to you, but I love when something clicks into place. I've been trying my best to be genuinely kind to people, no matter our differences, and I've been blessed with some very kind people coming into my life. Without even realizing it, God was working on another fruit with me, molding me into a kinder person in His own gentle way. He's a sneaky one, He is! Plus, I think He's been sneaking some other unexpected pieces into my life.
I would never ever have thought of myself becoming someone that reaches out to people, through text or word or otherwise, trying to spread any kind of message. But that's another thing that's been on my heart this past week: maybe I'm just the voice some women need to hear, reminding them that they're not alone in this crazy experience of life. I know, there are tons of very successful blogs catering to all kinds of women, telling them how wonderful they are or that being a mom is difficult for everyone, but that's not what I want. I just want to be honest, and maybe someone like me, who thinks a lot of those blogs are overly mushy and not as honest as they claim, will gain a little more peace and be a little kinder to herself.
And that's something I'll probably touch on another day: be kind to yourselves, friends. You are your biggest [human] asset, ally, and supporter, and no one knows you like you do. You know the struggles you've been through and where you've come from, so cut yourself some slack. It's cliché, but it will be much easier for others to love you and be kind to you if you are kind to and love yourself. Besides, who cares what they think? ;)
Edited to add: For reference, the Fruits of the Spirit are Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.
